Between Hope and Fear
December 5, 2024

BY KEN BARRINGER
In Pema Chodron’s seminal book Comfortable with Uncertainty, teaching number 28 on cultivating fearlessness and compassion is dedicated to Hope and Fear. While it may not seem it at times we have a choice between these two. Every time we push ourselves to do something beyond what we think we are capable of we are believing in hope. Every time we are conceding to reasoning why we can’t do something fear is gaining ground. Now this is not to imply we should talk ourselves out of doing something reckless, or something that could endanger ourselves or someone else. The statement is more about when we know we can do something (even if it is challenging) and summons our internal strength that is breathing in hope and breathing out fear.
Oft times, but not always, we may hang out in the space between hope and fear. Sort of like the “freeze” part of the “fight, flight or freeze” response. What moves the needle for you towards hope? What keeps you stuck and what moves the needle toward fear? Are these adaptable? In Pema’s chapter on hope and fear she discusses the “four pairs of opposites”. To paraphrase:
We like pleasure, we don’t like pain.
We like praise, we don’t like criticism.
We like fame, we don’t like disgrace.
We like gains, we don’t like losses.
The more we dig in and attach to what we like, the more struggle we create by avoiding what we don’t like. While this makes logical sense perhaps it is the root of tension. What if we saw the things we don’t like as stressors that are guiding us towards hope? Could this motivate us towards doing something about/with the pain, criticism, disgrace, and losses? We can see the things we like and embrace the things we don’t like, our fears. By recognizing them and being open to managing rather than avoiding them we move from fear to hope. Simple but not easy. Given all in the world today let’s call forth the courage to at least think about this. Planting a garden takes a lot of work. It’s dirty, messy and we don’t know what we are going to find underground. However, planting a garden is a belief in the future, that things will grow, and you’ll help bring beauty to a space. You can always wash your clothes later.